Munich - Las Vegas: Condor

We got up at 4.15 am to get to Munich airport super early. I had been unable to check-in online on Condor’s homepage. “You need to obtain a valid visa. Please consult the ESTA home page,” the error message had said. For all four of us. With significant unease, I had called the Condor hotline to inquire what to do. As far as I could see, the ESTAs we had obtained were valid and the data had been entered correctly. Oh, horror! What if we wouldn’t be allowed on the plane the next morning? (Quick mental calculation of the money wasted...) “Due to high demand, the expected waiting time is more than 15 minutes,” had the computer voice from Condor’s hotline informed. So I had waited, and waited and… after about 20 minutes a grumpy employee confirmed that there was indeed a problem with our ESTAs, but there was nothing she could do, she had no data access. We would just have to turn up at the check-in counter the next morning, and try to solve it. So, we were Schrodingers cat until the next day, not knowing whether we were dead or alive… just what I hate. Later on the same day, it had dawned upon me that maybe it was all due to a problem with my wife’s Japanese passport, which falsely alleged that her maiden name was her last name (and put my last name in a depreciating parenthesis). Surely, the Condor hotline could check that for me. After another useless 20 minutes of waiting for the hotline, I gave up. We just had to hope for the best and get there early. Like, really, really early. So we would have plenty of time to sort things out. Hence, we arrived at the airport at 6.45 am, only to be chocked by the amount of people already waiting in line for the Condor check-in counter. For an hour, we went nowhere in the queue. The queue actually grew, as more people piled up behind us. Far ahead, it seemed that a single Condor-employee was gearing up for the work of the day, but nothing was happening. Finally, we started moving, and about an hour later, it was our turn. Sure enough, there was a problem. After some nail-biting suspense, and much consultation with a senior colleague, the girl at the check-in counter managed to convince the check-in system, that we were indeed welcome in the US, and we were allowed to proceed, boarding cards in hand. Then there was the queue to the passport control (still twenty minutes to scheduled departure), the queue for security (ten minutes left). Happy that we could finally go to the terminal, we suffered yet another mental blow, as a huge crowd was blocking our way to the terminal. Surely, we were not expected to wait for the area to clear up as our plane was boarding and there was only 5 minutes left? Trying to bypass the crowd, a grim-looking Condor-lady told us with an evil smile, that yes, these people were also going to Las Vegas, and please go to the back of the line. With significant delay, we finally got airborne. Only to find out that this was a German family plane (first day of Bavarian holiday). Hmm, hadn’t thought of that. And that Condor is a budget airline, with legroom cut to a sadistic minimum (adequate for West African pygmies, not for healthy, sausage-necked Germans. Sometimes you are happy you are not big). People were tossing and turning in their seats, stretching their legs out in the aisle, trying in vain to find a comfortable position to sleep in. And you had to pay for the movies, and the drinks, and the snacks, and kids were bored and boisterous, and the babies were screaming, and... Well, you get the picture: it was a long flight.

The clear view of the mountains and deserts as we traversed the continent from Canada to Las Vegas gave some consolation.